


Centricide One-Shots

by TheHolyProphetKek



Category: The Centricide (Webseries)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-04
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:54:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23017351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheHolyProphetKek/pseuds/TheHolyProphetKek
Summary: I drop my trash here
Relationships: Ancap/Authleft, Rightist Unity
Comments: 29
Kudos: 71





	1. Ancom having some cute uwu time for quemself

A green figure sat in his rainbow-painted room and stared at a screen with delight. This was the 6th episode of the new super kawaii Hentai that he found online on a pirate website. Some Japanese school girls wiggled their cartoony and unrealistic big boobs on the screen. He could feel his small pp getting erected once more. He grabbed for it with his baby soft hands and slowly stroked while he continued to watch the Hentai episode. “Oh, how I wish I could be a cute anime titty school girl too.” He moaned as he saw a fat titty school girl stomping on the protagonist's dick like the dominating feminist QUEEN she is. “Ohh, oh!!” The boy practically yelled. “I'm cooming! Ohh!” And then he came all over his desk and keyboard once more. He was actually decent enough to clean it up though. After all, he still needed his keyboard to write his awesome stories on Reddit about how he punched that one fascist dude, who was actually a conservative, but nobody cared anyway. He smiled happily to himself and imagined how girls would masturbate to the same cool and modern stuff as he is doing right now. He even thought about volunteering and translating some of these Japanese masterpieces into English for his follower ~~coomers troomers degenerates~~ fighters for freedom and individualism. He went off the website for now. He has already wasted like 10 loads of cum, he should be satisfied for another night. ~~But maybe it wasn't really a waste after all, because it would be really horrific if a person like him would reproduce.~~ He typed in “Loli” into the Google search bar, which sadly ended his good mood, because Google gave him a warning about child porn being illegal. He crossed his arms in anger and pouted, as if it would make him as cute as a anime girl or something, which it of course didn't, but ~~the troomer~~ Ancom was pretty delusional and it made him feel cute, so he did it anyway. “I'm not Ancap! Lolis are not child porn!” He said in his defense, even though he sat there all alone in front of his 1 dollar desk. Then he finally pulled up his 1 week old not-washed pants and made the UWU. “Now time for some self care.” He said to no one and grabbed for the flower crown laying next to his keyboard. He put the colorful crown on his head and didn't dare to think about the fact that it was quite ironic for him to wear a crown as an anarchist. It didn't matter though because he felt really really adorable! UWU!! He laid down on his light green bed and pulled out his headphones. Then he listened to wet ASMR mouth sounds until he peacefully feel asleep and dreamed about transitioning into a cute anime big titty school girl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: Out of spite, I will never delete this one


	2. Anfash Gang (but it's not really)

Sunlight shined on the white roof of the four extremists' shared apartment. It was still early in the morning and Ancom didn't feel like getting out of ~~his~~ ques bed yet. ~~He~~ Que had done some LSD yesterday night and felt a bit weird now. ~~He~~ Que thought ~~he~~ que would be hungry after almost eating nothing the day before, but for some reason ~~he~~ que had no appetite at all. So instead ~~he~~ que pulled up ~~his~~ ques blanket a bit higher and snuggled deeper into the soft light green bed. “I think I will just stay here all day...” Ancom mumbled to ~~himself~~ quemself, even though this probably wouldn't work out because the four extremists agreed to make a bit of progress for the Centricide every day. As expected, one minute later ~~his~~ ques light green painted wooden door was kicked open by an slightly taller man. “Degenerate!” He called out to ~~him~~ que and walked over to the light green bed. Instantly, Ancom jumped up and grabbed for ~~his~~ ques baseball bat next to ~~his~~ ques bed. ~~He~~ Que REEEEEEd, like a little frog would do. Authright would never tell this to Ancom, but ~~his~~ ques reeing always reminded him of his beloved Pepe and the “fucking normies” meme. Authright raised one of his hands, while hiding the other behind his back. “I come in peace, so please stop screaming into my ears.” He said slightly annoyed and then showed the other a flag that he had been hiding behind his back. Ancom stared in disbelief. “Is that a trans flag?” ~~He~~ Que asked. The rightist nodded and then grinned to himself, too excited to finally tell the other about his discovery. “Why would you-” Ancom was about to ask, but Authright interrupted ~~him~~ quem, already about to answer ~~his~~ ques question.”You know, I have been thinking about your love for that flag for awhile after the tiny fight we had about it and came to the conclusion that we can hang it up in the living room after all.” He explained slowly and Ancom rubbed ~~his~~ ques eyes in total disbelief. Was ~~he~~ que still on drugs? No, the effects should have gone away by now. “Why... Why did you suddenly change your mind? I thought such things are 'degenerate'” Ancom quoted the other. “So why?” Authright still had a grin on his face as he shrugged. “Oh, I just realized it wasn't degenerate.” Ancom smiled, but then ~~he~~ que squeezed ~~his~~ ques eyes together in distrust. Why would Authright suddenly change his mind? It all made no sense. “I mean, it's really a matter how you see a symbol. For example, you see Pepe as a hate symbol while I-” “It obviously is a hate symbol!” Ancom interrupted him and was a bit scared where the other extremist was going with this. “Shush, soy boy. What I was trying to say is, this flag doesn't have to be a symbol of degeneracy.” He hold up the flag, so they could look at it better. Then he pointed at the blue part of the flag. “Men guarding the borders...” He moved his fingers to the pink part of the flag. “The women at home...” He slowly moved his fingers to the white part of the flag and he could already see Ancom's eyes twitch in anger. “And the white race!” He said proudly and quickly wrapped the flag together again. “Protected!-” He wanted to add more to his amazing speech, but Ancom was already lunging ~~himself~~ quemself at the slightly taller man. “I will beat you into a pulp, I swear!” ~~He~~ Que yelled loudly and tried to hit Authright with ~~his~~ ques bat, but the other quickly moved his head away, out of danger. “What for? Free speech?!” He asked back and grabbed for the smaller ~~man's~~ person's hoodie. He dug his fingers into it and then forcefully pushed the other to the side, making ~~him~~ quem hit the ground. Ancom gasped from the impact. “You obviously just came here to tick me off!” ~~He~~ Que yelled back in anger as he tried to get up again, but Authright decided to go sit down on ~~his~~ ques back, which made ~~his~~ ques plan to get up rather hard to execute. “Ancom! Let's hang up this flag! Yes?!” He asked in excitement and Ancom quickly shook ~~his~~ ques head. “No! Never!” ~~He~~ Que yelled out without thinking about it. “Ohh! So you do not support trans people? We are on the same page after all! Anfash Gang! Anfash Gang!” Authright teased and pushed his knees deeper into the other's back. “Well, I guess there truly is no place for such degenerate people as trans-” “NO! That's not what I meant and you know that!” ~~He~~ Que yelled back and finally got enough power to push ~~himself~~ quemself upwards. Authright was pushed onto his back while he made a rather confused sound. “And now..” Ancom rose ~~his~~ ques baseball bat high into the air, readying ~~himself~~ quemself for a hard hit. Before ~~he~~ que could hit the rightist with ~~his~~ ques bat though, Tankie stormed into the room and quickly positioned himself between the two. “What are you two doing?!” He asked in anger and swiftly grabbed the bat out of Ancom's hands. He was much taller as the other two extremists and, for some reason, also wore his ushanka in the house. Even though it was warm inside... “Give me back my bat! He deserves it!” Ancom said while he tried to get back ~~his~~ ques bat, but the communist just hold it higher into the air, where Ancom's small baby arms couldn't reach it. “Stop being so selfish you two. We got together for a good reason. I don't want the Centricide to fail, just because one of you killed the other.” Authright chuckled at that. “If one of us would kill the other, obviously that would be me killing him first-” He tried to finish, but quickly got interrupted by both of the leftists. “It's quem!” Ancom yelled, while Tankie settled with an easier “Shut the fuck up!” Authright rolled his eyes at that and finally decided to get off the ground and stand like a normal human being. “Listen,” Authright started and held out the trans flag. “I only made the suggestion to hang this up and the troomer got all mad at me.” Tankie rose one of his eyebrows in confusion and Ancom quickly yanked the flag out of the rightist's hands. “That's not the whole story! And you know that!” Finally Ancap also peeked his head into Ancom's room. It was impossible to not hear all the yelling from downstairs. He grinned as he saw the other extremists stand in a circle while discussing about the whole incident. “You two look like kindergarten kids trying to explain to your daddy why the other person is a poopyhead.” All of them: Ancom, Authleft and Authright almost choked on air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based off of that one meme. You know which one I'm talking about.


	3. Straight up cringe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: cringe  
> I have been thinking about deleting this one, but I literally posted porn, so it can't be worse than my porn.

Ancap removed his shirt and reclined on the couch. “Draw me like one of your rare Pepes” he whispered to the other man. The atmosphere of the room was incredible gay and the authoritarian squeezed the paintbrush, that he hold in his hand, tighter. “Of course” he said and smeared the green paint on the white canvas. Some minutes passed and the capitalist was growing bored of positioning on the couch. He smiled and then asked: “Soo, are you finished yet?” Authright just grimaced, not answering the other. That confused Ancap. He rose one of his eyebrows. “Everything alright?” He asked and considered getting up. “Yes, it's just..” The statist went silent, placed one of his fingers on his chin and stared at the picture intensely. “It kind of looks like Ancom.” In disappointment Authright laid the paintbrush to the side and Ancap stood up in excitement. “Let me see.” He said and walked over to the other extremist. His excitement vanished quickly. “Yeah, that looks nothing like me.” He said plainly. “Well, I tried to draw you like Pepe, as you have requested.” The other tried to defend his drawing and Ancap crossed his arms. “Well, yeah but that was just...” He went silent and then gently placed his hands on the other man's shoulders, who instantly moved back. “What are you doing?” “Shush.” He pushed the statist on the couch and then grabbed for the paintbrush. “My turn” “Huh.” “Come on, make a pose on the couch.” Authright squeezed his eyes together. He didn't want to do such thing. Ancap just grinned. “Or are you scared that I might draw a better drawing than you?” he asked and replaced the canvas with a new one. He knew that Authright was pretty proud of his art, even though this one didn't turn out as great as he would have liked. “I never saw you draw once in your entire life, I don't think that you-” Ancap interrupted him. “Are you avoiding my competition?” “Of course not!” The statist stared back at the anarchist and tried to ignore the weird atmosphere. He wondered if the leftists had similar weird incidents in the apartment when the rightist weren't there. The two leftists probably had even gayer incidents then though. He finally decided to made a rather questionable pose on the couch while trying to suppress a cringy feeling spreading inside of him. Authright tried to not stare at the anarchist's exposed chest for too long. Ancap just hummed in satisfaction though and started painting. Some minutes passed and the anarchist put away the brush with pride in his eyes. “It's a masterpiece.” He announced and Authright stood up from the couch with confusion. “Really?” He eyed the canvas and couldn't really believe his eyes. “I look like I'm 12.” Ancap laughed. “It's a nice painting, isn't it?” Authright stared at it for a little longer and was disappointed to find out that, aside from the fact that Ancap basically drew a child and not him, it actually looked quite good. He probably learned it from the weird loli mangas that he was reading sometimes . “Do I win?” Ancap asked as Authright stayed silent for a little too long for his taste. “Huh? No.” Authright simply stated. “It's weird seeing a child making such position on the couch.” Ancap slightly nodded. “Yeah, it was weird seeing you is such position.” Authright coughed at this. “You forced me to!” He said in slight anger and then grabbed for both of the canvas. “In my opinion, we should get rid of those before the leftists come back.” “Agreed.” 

Both of the drawings ended up in the fire of the chimney. The two extremists watched them burn while sitting on the couch next to eachother. “So, are you finally gonna put on your shirt again or...” Authright trailed off. “You can't tell me what to do.” Ancap simply said back. “I just asked!” The statist quickly shot back and tried to get up from the couch, but the anarchist grabbed for his wrist. “Chill, today was fun, wasn't it? But next time we are alone, we should do something more to my liking...” Authright blinked back at him and decided to sit back down. “For example?” “Smoking weed!” “Never!”


	4. Commie getting sexually violated in a helicopter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't realized by the title yet, it's gonna get spicy

„I found Ancom!“ Ancap yelled out as he kicked open the door to the shared apartment. “Well, I mean Post-Left.” He corrected himself, mumbling. The two authoritarian were sitting on the couch and turned their heads to the anarchist. Authright was the first one to speak up. “Ancap? What are you doing here? I thought you will stay in your beautiful Ancapistan, that you didn't invite m-” Tankie quickly put a hand over Authright's mouth, instantly shutting him up. The white supremacist swiftly pushed the other man's hand away in annoyance. “That doesn't matter right now, Nazi.” Tankie said and got up from the couch. He had dark circles under his eyes. He had probably been sulking about Post-Left all week. “Where is que?” He asked and Ancap smiled. “Follow me.” He answered, but decided to look over to Authright before actually going. “Are you coming too?” He asked, but Authright didn't seem to care about Post-Left too much and just turned his back to the other rightist. “I don't care what you two do. You could even fuck eachother on the way there, I don't care.” He just said and pulled out his phone. 

“Well damn, okay.” Ancap just said and was about to go, but Authleft didn't follow him. “How dare you care so little about quem! You both might have opposite political views, but quem is still an important member of the Centricide! Have you forgotten for what we came together? We are a team!” He tried to convince the white supremacist to come with them, but the he just shrugged him off. “We don't need Post-Left. He isn't even a extremist anymore.” He simply stated and got off the couch. But instead of walking over to the front door, he went upstairs. “Дебил...“ The communist muttered under his breath and then turned around to the anarchist once more. “OK, let's go. Let's get back Ancom. Let's save quem!” He pulled Ancap outside by his collar. “Wait, you don't even know where to go-”

...

“Is this... some kind of joke?” Tankie asked as he eyed the helicopter parking on the street. “No. It's just my helicopter.” The communist glared at the capitalist intensely. “What?” “You're not going to push me out of the helicopter, are you?” He asked, not feeling quite safe following the capitalist into a helicopter. “No, but I wouldn't mind it too much, if you truly want me to.” Ancap answered and winked at the communist, who just strengthened his glare in response. After waiting for a few seconds, Ancap just grabbed for Authleft's hand and basically forced him into the helicopter with him. 

“So where exactly is quem?” Authleft asked as he sat down on the passenger seat. “I found quem in some random alley and carried him over to one of my private houses in Ancapitstan.” He didn't add that he didn't actually carry him though, but one of his child slaves did instead. Authleft nodded. “I have one question though. Does that mean you're back in the team?” Ancap was silent for awhile. “Well yes and no, I will if I get something out of it.” Of course he would only join under that condition. “And that is?” The communist asked. “I mean, isn't the fact that we will get rid of the centrists enough reason?” He added and Ancap slightly laughed. “Yeah, sure, but I realized that I don't necessarily need to get rid of all centrists to live in my utopia, aka Ancapistan.” The other rolled his eyes. “So what would you want then?” Ancap grinned brightly and then turned the helicopter on autopilot. “Oh, you know, while I was still in the team, I grew pretty sick of your teasing and mixed signals” 

“... What.” Ancap unplugged his seat belt. “You knew from the moment you saw me that I didn't care about your desires or your comfort or your rights as a human being.” He went on to unplug Tankie's seat belt as well. “And you _liked_ that about me.” The communist's face went as red as the flag of the Soviet Union. “That's n-not... where would you even get that from!?” He asked back and cursed himself for his stuttering. Sitting in a helicopter made him feel a bit nauseous.

“Well, don't you like licking boots?” Ancap shrugged and Tankie glared back at him. “Not from the bourgeois!” He was silent for a minute, before he realized his mistake. “In general! I don't like licking boots, just because I'm statist!” He wiggled around with his arms like a stereotypical Italian. “You forget, Marx said we only need a temporary state, before capitalism isn't fully erased of this earth, we can't abolish the state just yet-” “Shush!” Ancap basically slapped his hand over Authleft's mouth. “I don't want to hear it, I will push you out of my helicopter. I swear.” Tankie quickly grabbed for Ancap's wrist and forced Ancap's hand away from his mouth. “You can't do that.” They stared at eachother for a little longer. “Oh, are you sure? You are basically on my _personal_ property, so yes, I can.”

Tankie huffed and let go of Ancap's wrist. “What do you want?” Ancap thought about it. He even placed a finger on his chin. Tankie had to roll his eyes at that. “I want to try out something new, I guess. Can you suck me off? I mean, I'm not really into that kind of stuff, I just want to see how you would look in such position.” The communist didn't seem so pleased with this idea. “That's disgusting and also blackmail!” He stated. “I won't do it. At this point I don't care anymore if you join us back, you're too selfish to work with.”

Ancap didn't seem to be too effected by Tankie's words though. He continued to smile. “Remember that you're still on my _personal_ property. And also, remember, if I want, I could be flying us somewhere else than our beloved Ancom.” Silence. “Well, Post-Left.” he corrected, but Tankie was still silent. Ancap moved his hand in front of Tankie's face and waved. “Hello? Earth to Commie?” 

Quite aggressively, Ancap's wrist was grabbed once more and pushed to the side. There was a pause. “Okay. I will do it.” Tankie finally managed to choke out and Ancap's mood made a flip. “Great!” He pointed at the ground, basically telling the communist to get on his knees. “Could I request you to make a ahegao face when I'm coming?” The communist just blinked at the other in confusion. “A what?” The capitalist sighed slightly disappointed, but then decided to just shrug it off. “Whatever, it's fine, let's do this before we miss our stop at Ancapistan.” 

Every body part in Tankie's body told him to not do what he was about to do, but he had to remind himself that it was for the greater good. He shouldn't put his feelings first after all, but heck, he will definitely get vengeance on the kulak for this later! And so he thought about possible ways to hurt the Ancap for this as he got on his knees. At least the helicopter was quite stable, so he wouldn't have to worry about trying to hold his posture. 

Ancap hummed happily and made himself comfortable on his seat. Afterwards, he zipped down his fly. He pulled out his average-sized member like he was about to pee. Tankie grimaced in pure disgust, not feeling up for doing what he had to do. “Give me a minute.” Ancap said and stroked it a bit, white looking the other up and down. Both of the extremists faces were red as a tomato. Ancap thought about all the things the Tankie had accused him off. That he was nothing but a self-centered prick and if it weren't for the Centricide, then Ancap truly deserved death. Ancap normally didn't like people under him, nor over him, but Tankie was something else. It was a beautiful feeling to see the communist kneeing under him. It felt like he was rioting against the state, that wanted to steal his money with their taxes. Ancap was just punishing a possible thief. Stealing is against the NAP.

He continued to stroke himself faster until he was fully erected. Afterwards, Ancap removed his hands from himself and placed them on Tankie's ushanka instead. It felt really soft. “You're getting your bourgeois filth all over my clothes...” The communist mumbled to himself, still kneeing in front of the other motionless. “Come on, get to work. Aren't you normally a workaholic? Where did all of your spirit go? I can add a little money to the reward if that motivates you.” That just made the communist even angrier. “I don't want your filthy money! I'm doing this for Ancom and the Centricide.” “Sure.”

With rather unusual shaky hands Tankie placed his hands on either side of Ancap's hips. Slowly he slid closer to the other and then just stared down at the capitalist's member for a minute. He wasn't sure how to start. Eventually though, he opened his mouth and wrapped his lips around the tip. Ancap made a pleased hum in response. “Good.” He simply said and digged his fingertips deeper into the ushanka. Tankie took this as a signal to continue and added his tongue into the whole action. He wasn't quite good at this, but it seemed to be good enough for Ancap because he let a moan escape his lips as the communist explored the thing in his mouth more.

“Oh, why are we only doing this now? This is amazing.” Ancap said in bliss and closed his eyes. “Hm, please faster.” Tankie didn't thought too much about it. The faster this is over, the faster he could get his revenge for this later. So he speed up his pace and made his head pop in and out of Ancap's erected member. 

Ancap was getting close and decided to take things into his own hands. Quite literally. He grabbed Tankie's head tighter, making sure he couldn't move his head easily and began to ram the communist's mouth as deep onto his member as possible. Of course this alarmed the other extremist and he dug his fingers into the capitalist's hips, while trying to move away from the other, but Ancap just made sure to tighten his grip. This was like his birthday. Just better. The choking noises were amusement to his ears and then he finally released, not even caring about pulling out. 

Quickly Tankie moved his head away and then began trying to choke out what Ancap has left in his mouth. “Fucking kulak.” He hissed and wiped over his mouth with his sleeve. “You make a beautiful expression right now. Are you not gonna swallow though?” Ancap asked and tried to get his breathing under control. Tankie never answered his question and Ancap just decided to leave it at that. “That was hot, thank you.” He said and pulled out a tissue from his pants pocket. He wiped the cum off of himself and then pulled up his boxers and zipped up his fly. “Do you need a tissue too?” 

The communist didn't dare to look up, instead he just raised out his hand for the tissue and grabbed it as he felt it touch his palm. “I fucking hate you.” He said and wiped over his mouth once more, but this time with the tissue. Afterwards, he spit out the remaining mess. “I hate you too.~” Ancap almost purred and then looked out of the window. “Well, we're almost there. You better make sure to look presentable. I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea. Especially Post-Left.”


	5. Nazi writes a poem

"Back on the scene  
Crispy and clean  
Swastika logo make the shitlibs scream  
Round up all the kikes, fags, trannies, pedophiles  
I do it forties style, i let the bodies pile  
They don't want to leave  
They won't get me in a casket  
Call me "white genocide"  
I changed demographics  
No more degenerates  
Marxists or feminists  
And my boot steps strike fear in my enemies  
I love kicking doors in  
Fo'sho track commies like a pro  
All the hot girls know  
When the bodies hit the floor... "

The White Indentitarian finished his poem and looked up from his paper. Ancap was eyeing him with one of his eyebrows raised. "No offense, but I don't think you will win the poem competition with that. How about... you... make it less hateful?" he suggested and Nazi shifted around on his seat. "Ah, who are you? My mom?" he asked with slight annoyance in his voice. "Well, no, but didn't you tell me I should judge it before you give it to Mister Jreg?"

"Mister Jreg would not get offended like a cuck. He actually is one of the whites who doesn't betray their own race, he-" "Shooosh!" Ancap put a finger on his mouth. "I don't want to hear about your daddy issues right now." "Jesus christ Ancap, how often do I have to tell you this? I don't have daddy issues!" Instead of listening to his friend's anger outbreak, Ancap snatched Nazi's poem and quickly crumpled it in his hands. "Hey, I worked hard on that..." His friend protested slightly but didn't make any move to get the piece of paper back. 

And so Ancap threw it in the trash before looking back at his friend who was currently sitting on his bed. "Only a fifty dollar friend-price and I will write you a good enough poem for you to win the competition. I know you really want that recognition from Mister Jreg." Ancap smirked and sat down next to his slightly smaller man, laying a hand around him.

His friend just laughed. "Right, because you can write poems." Ancap didn't actually reply to that, he just smiled back at the AuthRight. After an awkward five minutes of quiet staring, Nazi sighed and grabbed his wallet out of his jeans pocket. "I fucking hate you, you know that?" He slapped him a fifty dollars note on his lap. Ancap took the dollar bill with a laugh. "A good decision, compatriot." He winked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I listened to Mr. Bond songs and this is what happened.  
> Edit: He literally got arrested for hate speech songs. I'm not sure if I should laugh or not. I'm on thin ice


	6. Rightist Unity Smut

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is gay

"Why don’t you undress me with your hands instead of your eyes?"

What. The White Identitarian wasn't sure if he heard that right, so he stared at the other rightist for a little longer before removing his eyes off Ancap with a bit of redness on his cheeks. The other couldn't be for real.

Ancap chuckled. They were on a helicopter together, flying from Ancapistan back to the extremists' house. Ancap could also let the helicopter fly automatically and so he let his hands off the control panels, scooting over to the slightly smaller man. The Authoritarian was still refusing to look at the other.

"Did you think I wouldn't realize? After my horrible breakup with Libertarian, I actually wouldn't mind to-" The NatSoc interrupted the other before he could finish his sentence. "Wait, wait, you and Libertarian were a couple?!" His voice seemed more surprised than disgusted. He wished it would sound more disgusted.

Ancap just chuckled once more. "Well, yeah. It wasn't a nice break-up and..." He moved even closer now, placing his hands on the other's shoulders. "I have been feeling a bit needy ever since. I know you have been looking at my body the entire flight. So let's make a deal. We will have a bit of fun, you don't even have to pay for it and we never tell anyone about it." He winked at the other rightist. NatSoc's cheeks were a crimson red by now and he slightly bit his lips.

He didn't want to do such degeneracy, but it did seem pretty appealing. Maybe just this once... Just to make sure he isn't some queer. If he didn't enjoy it, he could finally sleep well again. And so the White Identitarian slightly nodded his head in agreement. "Sure..."

Ancap got to work immediately, opening the buttons of the other male and then his own as well. Then he took the other's hands in his and lead the NatSoc to the back with him. There was a little yellow-goldish couch with some Bitcoin pattern. NatSoc absolutely despited the design of the couch, but he was too horny to actually mind. He let himself sit down on the couch and did nothing except for staring at the other.

"You're so passive in this, but I didn't expect you to act any different," Ancap said slightly amused, but with a bit of disappointment. The other rightist only furrowed his eyes together at this statement. Then Ancap moved down to NatSoc's pants and pulled them down to his knees. He realized how the other's breath got faster by this action and then slowly moved his fingers to the blue boxers. Then he pulled these down even slower than he has done with the pants.

NatSoc's member popped out, already a bit excited by the situation and NatSoc insulted himself slightly in his mind for it. But then Ancap grabbed the dick in his hands and started rubbing up and down. This instantly made NatSoc's thoughts about the degeneracy of this situation fade away and instead he let out a small moan. Ancap's grinned. "Do you like that?" He asked and NatSoc bit down on his lips to remind himself to not moan out like a homo again.

The slightly taller rightist chuckled once more and moved one of his hands down to his own pants. While jerking off NatSoc with his left hand, he unbuttoned his own pants with his right hands. Afterward, he stood up and used both of his hands to remove his pants and his boxers.

NatSoc couldn't stop looking. Ancap was bigger than him. While NatSoc was around an average of 18cm, Ancap had around 22cm. He felt a bit embarrassed about this and looked away in shame while still biting down on his lips. "Can you get the lube?" Ancap asked, but NatSoc didn't seem to have heard the question. He was way too deep in his thoughts about his degeneracy. Ancap sighed. "I really gotta do everything myself, huh..." He mumbled slightly and made himself a promise to not come to the White Identitarian again if he was horny. It would be easier to just get a hooker. Or Ancom. Ancom would probably be up for it too. That thought amused Ancap and he got the lube that was stored in a helicopter /for some reason/. Don't judge him, the anarchists are horny. Anyway,

Ancap grabbed the lube and walked back over to the couch. NatSoc was still sitting there, deep in his thoughts. Ancap slightly rolled his eyes and then sat himself down next to the other rightist. This got the other's attention and the repressed gay turned his head over to Ancap. "Wait, I don't want you to penetrate-" NatSoc quickly stumbled over his words, a bit of fear going through his voice. Ancap shook his head. "Don't worry, nobody will penetrate you." He said and got a bit of the fluid out of the bottle while saying so.

NatSoc watched with a fast-beating heart as Ancap opened his legs wider and smeared the fluid on his entrance. The capitalist didn't seem much embarrassed by this action, in fact, it seemed like it was more embarrassing for NatSoc to watch his fellow compatriot do something so lewd than it was embarrassing for Ancap to do such a thing. Ancap smirked. "Do you like what you see?" He opened his legs wider and winked. NatSoc looked like he might have a stroke any minute soon, but kept silent. Instead, he moved one of his hands to his member and started jerking it off to Ancap's lewd display.

"Ha, getting off to this, you're so gay, NatSoc, so gay. Might just call you Homofash." Ancap teased and then pressed one of his fingers into himself. He suppressed a small moan and then quickly went for the second finger. It was obvious to NatSoc now that Ancap must have done this before and while this should only disgust him, it didn't. Instead, the White Identitarian could feel how he got more erected by every word Ancap said and every action Ancap did. The White Identitarian tried to imagine he wasn't actually here right now. That he was just watching two others doing this dirty act.

"Will you only sit there like some beta cuck or fuck me already?" Ancap then whined-asked after having stretched himself with two fingers. He was getting impatient with NatSoc's passive role in this entire thing. But even after saying this, the Authoritarian didn't seem like he will make any move soon. In fact, he was only jerking himself off faster and seemed pretty close to ending it as well. Ancap whined once more, now finally catching the attention of the other rightist again.

Ancap removed his hands and moved over to NatSoc, placing himself on the other man's hips. "Take your hands off your dick." He commanded in a deeper voice as usual and NatSoc instantly complied. Ancap reminded himself to remember this deeper-voice-trick if he ever needs it again. Then Ancap slowly let himself down on NatSoc. Both of them couldn't suppress a moan. "I wonder if you would make a good trans wife, Ancap," the statist said and Ancap shook his head. "This isn't the right time, Nazi..."

NatSocnow slowly put his hands on the other rightist's hips, but nothing more and so Ancap took it upon himself to push himself deeper until the entire 18cm filled him. And while it was probably wrong to do so, he thought about Libertarian the entire time while doing so. Another moan escaped him and he could see how NatSoc's face was like a tomato by now. He probably just took this Incel's virginity, Ancap thought to himself and pushed himself up once more before going down again.

This continued for a while and the helicopter was filled with lewd noises. Eventually, NatSocfinally grabbed Ancap's hips rougher and moved against Ancap in rhythm. "Ah, that is way better! Fuck!" let the anarchist out and placed both of his hands on NatSoc's shoulders. "More!" He screamed as the other rightist hit a place that felt especially pleasurable.

The Authoritarian wouldn't let Ancap tell him that twice and so he pushed the other head-first down on the couch. Then NatSoc roughly pulled on Ancap's hips, making his ass stand up while his back was arching. Ancap couldn't suppress another lewd noise as he felt his member rub against the fabric under him. Now it was NatSoc's time to smirk. He had seen this position in a porno before. Not like he often watched pornography or something, in fact, he's on a strict no nut November diet- ugh, whatever. He just liked the position a lot.

Without holding back any longer, NatSoc deeply and roughly pushed into the other rightist. As t

he White Identitarian listened to Ancap's lewd noises he could feel himself getting closer and closer. After some more pushes, he hit the spot the capitalist likes so much and Ancap loudly screamed "Libertarian!" in pleasure. Quickly he came, which made him tighten and NatSoc had to come as well. Deeply into the other, he filled the taller man up, only making the loud scream last longer. NatSoc had to moan as well and tried to ignore the fact that Ancap had screamed out Libertarian's name and not his name. (sad)

After this intense session, the two finally parted again. NatSoc panted heavily while Ancap was relatively fast cleaning himself up with some tissues and pulling up his pants. NatSoc eyed him in confusion, but Ancap just gave him a confident smile. "Alexa, when will I arrive at my selected destination?" Ancap called out while NatSoc tried to cover his crotch.

"4 more minutes." An electronic-sounding voice replied and Ancap smile only got wider. They would arrive at their home soon.

The horror of what just happened only came to NatSoc's head as he began cleaning up his mess with the tissues. He pulled up his pants and boxers again but didn't feel very comfortable in his clothing anymore. He felt dirty and weak. Nazi couldn't believe he actually agreed to this bullshit, now he really looked like a homo. "I'm by the way not a homo, I was imagining a woman" NatSoc quickly said as they walked back to the control panel. Ancap only rolled his eyes. "Sure."


	7. Angst and faggotery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reuploading this one here instead of posting it as a single (I deleted it if anyone saw it before) bc then it doesn't hurt my fragile self-confidence when nobody replies lmao  
> This one is a Highschool AU. James = AuthRight, Jay = LibLeft, Jakob = Homonat

James was 17 years old as he sat on the corner of his bed at night and scrolled through the threads of /b/, 4chan. Normally he wouldn't stay up at night for so long, but he just couldn't bring himself to fall asleep. The thought of becoming an adult and finally turning 18 terrified him.

He never had any friends, but there was this boy, or... whatever Jay wanted to be called as. James never really understood what Jay was on about with their gender. But James told them once about his fear of growing older, right during an English project, when they were forced to work together.

There, on accident, he had told Jay that he was afraid of turning 18. The other senior student had just straight laughed at his face, before eventually stopping as they have realized how serious James was being since he just stared back at them in embarrassment. James can still remember how Jay apologetically patted on his shoulders, saying something along the lines of “Hey, it's okay. You should be happy. When you're 18 you will finally be able to live your life however you want. There will be no more parents who tell you what you can and can't do. You will be your own man.”

A small smile crept on their face. “And you could finally buy those 18+ video games without asking Jacob about it.” Jacob was the name of that weird homonationalist in their class, he was two years older than James, two because he had to repeat a year, and, Jakob had a weird liking to James. James absolutely despised him though.

Back in reality, James looked back at his screen. The threads on /b/ were mostly just porn. Disgusting. He should go back to /pol/, he thought to himself, but stayed a little longer to look at a “penis comparison” thread a little longer than it was probably straight to do so. He sighed as he has realized his degenerate act and let himself fall back on his bed, his phone now lighting up the ceiling of his room.

Jay didn't understand why James was afraid of growing up, after all, Jay had a way different world view. They valued things differently. James didn't want to be his ''entirely own man''. That sounded scary. He wished to have someone, higher up than him, who would tell him what to do and how to do it. He had little confidence in what he did after all. And anyway, if he turned 18, his parents could finally kick him out of the house.

Not just threatening him with it but actually do it. He gulped and his stomach made a weird turn. He knew his parents were tired of him. They've told him he was useless and a burden to this family multiple times. His parents never wanted a child, it happened by accident, but their values disallowed them to abort. It was obvious that his parents didn't seem to like each other very much anymore since the day James has been born into the world and the only thing keeping them from finally splitting up was, as if it was some kind of sick joke, James.

Every time when his parents and he would visit James' grandparents, they pretended everything was okay. Like they were one very happy and perfect family. James knew why his parents did that. Both of their grandparents were ridiculously cold-hearted and his parents craved the praise of them like a drug. They wanted them to say "Good job, you have raised this child so well. What great parents you are!"

It, yet again, seemed like a sick joke. Here his parents were, neglecting their son, just because their parents have done the same to them. Why wouldn't they want to hear "You have raised me so well! Thank you, I love you!" from the child itself? This entire situation would make up for a really good 2meirl4meirl meme, but James didn't felt like getting called “cringy” on the internet once more. He rose his phone again, looking at the screen intensely.

It was 3 am now. He had school tomorrow. Worse yet, he has to write a math exam tomorrow. And in only one week, he would turn 18. Soon he would graduate. He should have been looking for a job a long time ago already, but he never did it. All he ever did is lay in his bed and sit in front of his desk. Pitying himself while his room more and more looked like shit.

And sometimes he would press his head against his door, listening to his parents fighting in German. Some other times, they would team up against him, calling him downstairs to them. He then would be the whole reason for their fight. “You stress us so much, James.”, “James, you're so old already, we shouldn't have to tell you to do your homework.” “Stop being a failure, James.” “We're so disappointed in you, James.”

“We hate you, James.”

James stopped scrolling. Some random Anon has linked some gore. That might just be the right thing to distract him. He quickly clicked on the link.

The video was set somewhere in the forest. A Latino-looking person cowered on the ground as he repeatedly got stabbed by someone above him. James' understanding of Spanish was pretty awful, but the person mumbled something along the lines of “por favor, por favor.” James watched the video till the end and then clicked off the website with a bad feeling in his stomach.

Humans are so disgusting. He wished he could be like some of these Anons here, those who say they have grown “numb” to it. That would make a lot of things a lot easier. It was disgusting looking at this stuff, but he always found himself back at doing it again, in the hope he would finally grow some kind of "numb" feeling like the others. Next video, this time no sound as it was posted on the website directly. A black man pushing his five-year-old child. Repeatedly. Anon just says, “See the skin color? Told you they do that themselves. Goddamn niggers.”

A sick smile crept on James' face. His dad had hit him almost his entire life too. Maybe he's just a white nigger. James wasn't quite sure why, but for some reason, he had to slightly laugh at this thought. It was a sick laugh.

-

The date has finally come, the date he was so afraid of. His 18th birthday. He woke up at 5 am and got ready for school. His parents were still asleep, both of them work a night shift after all. He doubted that they would get up before he had to go to school. He felt so sick. He didn't want to go to school today. He didn't want to go anywhere. If he could really decide what he wanted to do and however he wants, he would just stay home today. Just stay in bed and sleep the entire day.

But that's just not going to do. He had to go to school. As the clock finally ticked at 7:15, James took a step outside. Even though he had woken up at 5, he didn't look very good. He barely has combed his hair and his shirt looked wrinkled. He also had deep and dark eye bags under his eyes. He hasn't slept very well the last few days. He just stayed up all night, looking at gore.

Oh and, he had found this one suicidal forum. By accident of course. It's not like he would ever actively search for stuff like that, he isn't a pussy. Actually, James wasn't even quite sure how he found it anymore. But people exchanged how to "ctb" - catch the bus, quite seriously there. The morbid curiosity just got the best of him. He probably learned more about suicide these few days than he had about what he was supposed to learn for school.

Funny. If only school could make their lessons so interesting. Also funny was, how the forum told him to be at least 18 to make an account. Now he was 18. James didn't make an account anyway though. He always had been more of a lurker. And, he wasn't suicidal or anything. So whatever.

Deep in his thoughts, he walked into someone while walking. Looking up, he saw a man, probably in his twenties. He had a beard and looked kinda Arabic, but most importantly, he looked angry. “Look where you're going, kid.” he spat as he pushed James aside. Kid, the man has said. The world really was funny. If only James could go back to being a child. But a child with a loving family. A mom who would hug him and make him tasty food. A dad that would be proud of him when he archived his goals. Parents who would take care of their child because they wanted to, but not because they had to.

A painful memory came back to him as he walked over the street to the bus station. “Dad, dad! Look! I got the best grade in German class!” 12 years old him happily said, as he showed his father the exam paper. His father replied, without even looking up: “And you're proud of that? Shouldn't that be normal when you grew up as German-American? Don't annoy me during my free time with such bullshit.” Maybe his dad had been right, but every time James did try to make his dad proud of something he did, it always ended up a similar way.

Gray walls extended in front of him. It was his school. Maybe Jakob would say Happy Birthday to him. James didn't really want to see Jakob right now. No, actually he didn't want to see anyone right now.

James stopped in front of the school entrance.

And he still stood there. Time passed and he still stood there. And he still- “Stop blocking the way, Idiot.” He fell into the nearest bush. Great.

James stood up again. He took a step towards the school, but then he realized the tears dwelling up in his eyes, and instead, he just turned around and ran. He ran like his life depended on it. He passed the church as he ran and he ran past the gas station. Then he passed the nearest supermarket and then, then he even ran past the next high school.

He saw some students that he knew were from the other school. They looked at him in confusion and he quickly turned around in another direction. He ran faster and faster until he was in a park. He hated this park. Weird people - degenerates - went here to inject themselves heroin. James hoped he wouldn't meet any of them. The senior student walked to the nearest tree, placed his hands shakingly on the tree bark, and then looked to his left and right.

Nobody seemed to be here. He was all alone. James finally let himself fall on his knees and bit his lips. His entire body shook as he tried to hold back his tears from falling. Why couldn't his family be perfect? Why couldn't there be any non-degenerates in his school? Everyone sucked. Or was it actually him? Himself?

It must be. Sure, his parents kinda sucked, but he couldn't blame them that he had no friends. He couldn't blame his parents that nobody wanted to be around him. He slammed his head against the tree and tightly closed his eyes as his body twitched in the pain of the impact. Did that make him strong or weak?

Fuck, he just didn't want to do this. He didn't want to be here. He didn't want to be anywhere at all.

James just knew if he would go to school now, the teachers would just disappointedly call him outside, tell him about his bad grades and how he might fail to graduate if he keeps this going. They might even send him to the liaison teacher.

That useless liaison teacher, that would just tell him he had no reason to be sad. He was a privileged white boy! What was there to be sad about!? She, like last time, would even smile during the entire conversation. Just thinking about the last time he was there made him mad. He wished he would have never told her anything at all, about his feelings, about his parents, he just felt worse after it. But the worst part of it all was, that his mom found out.

His mom found out that he once went to the liaison teacher because he almost had a breakdown during the school break and Jakob forced him there against his will. James' mom had cried for hours! Hours! “James, why did you go there? Are we such bad parents? James, I don't understand! We gave you everything! A room! Food! Money! What else is there? Why are you so ungrateful?!”

James. Why? James. Why did you do this to me? James. Why are you such a disappointment? When will you finally grow up? Yes, thanks, Jakob. Thanks for trying to help me, he bitterly thought.

He finally broke down, making pathetic noises as tears finally fell down his cheek. He even started hugging the tree like some kind of hippie. His entire body shook during this act. He didn't want to open his eyes again. So fucking pathetic! Just pathetic! James thought about the nearest bridge from here. When the shit that the people on the suicidal forum said are true, the bridge should be just high enough for James to be able to end it all. No more being a pathetic disappointment. No more stupid feelings. Just numbness.

“James?” He sniffed. That was not his imagination, was it? That sounded oddly familiar. “Why are you hugging a tree? I thought you hate hippies.” All alarm bells instantly went on in James' head. That was Jakob's voice. He quickly removed his arms from around the tree and pushed himself up on his feet. Then, he wiped the tears away from his face.

Only after that, he turned around. “I'm not crying!” He said aggressively but sounded like absolute shit while doing so. Jakob seemed a bit speechless for a second, before smiling slightly. “I was not saying you were.” That was definitely a smile out of pity! Fuck you, Jakob! What are you even doing here? James wished he could just let his entire anger out on the other, but that wouldn't be the right thing to do. Still, he really wished he could.

“What are you doing here anyway?” Jakob asked. James blinked and finally eyed the other. Jakob, as always, looked absolutely faggoerty. He had pink nail polish, an obnoxious bright colored outfit, and, what was that? James even spotted some makeup on his face. James narrowed his eyes. He refused to answer the other. “I could ask you the same.”

“Touché,” Jakob said, pressing his hands on his waists. “I'm too late for school. On my way to school, I have to walk through this park. You, however, live on the other side of the town. I'm pretty sure of that.” Yeah, that's true. James never has to walk through this park.

He tries to think of some kind of lie. Anything. But he really couldn't come up with anything. “Ugh, just leave me alone.” He waved Jakob off and brushed some dirt off his clothes. “Want to go to school together?” Jakob offered with a smile.  
“No.”  
“Happy Birthday by the way.”  
“Shut up, faggot.”

It was silent between these two. The permanent smile of Jakob finally disappeared. “You know what!” He rose his voice and stepped closer, a finger hitting James in the chest, making him stumble back against the tree. “You always wonder why everyone hates you! But every time one tries to be friendly with you and even ignores how straight-up racist, homophobic, and pessimistic you are, you still just turn them down and insult them! Did you ever thought about that actually YOU might be the problem, but not the others?!”

That hit hard. And the worst was, Jakob, the goddamn faggot, was right. James looked to the side and spat on the ground. He took a shaky breath. He wouldn't want to show weakness in front of the other. “Or you're just a faggot and I don't want to hang out with faggots.”

Jakob seemed taken back. He looked back at James with total disappointment. For a moment, Jakob thought about hitting James, but then he just stepped away. “Suit yourself.” He said before finally walking off to school with an annoyed expression on his face.

Good job, James ironically thought to himself. He looked down at his hands, they were shaking now. He couldn't just go jump off that bridge now. His entire energy from earlier seemed to have just entirely left him. He even felt too tired to start crying again. Maybe he had to delay his suicide for a few days. Hopefully, his parents wouldn't find out that he skipped school today. James just sat down, pressed his knees up to his chest, and hugged himself.

Being so hard to Jakob was totally unneeded, but he didn't want the other to get involved in his shit. How dare he?


End file.
